Trying To Measure Up

First day of school returning from spring break today.

I walked into the classroom and the first thing my friend, Lucy says to me is:
"What did you do to your hair?!? You've really dyed it like a slut this time!"

Not what you want to hear first after dying your hair... all different. That really brought me down from my cloud, but then again, I don't care about her opinion. Everyone else said it looked really cool. Plus, my brothers' friends were crazy about touching my hair :D
Anywho, onto the title of this post.
Why does it pain me whenever I hear that my cousin (the one that copies me alot) is skinny, or pretty or whatever? Why do I always hate it when people talk about her?
I went to the plaza with my cousin May on Saturday (which turned out to be an awesome night) and my aunt (Let's call her Cc) hadn't seen me for an entire week. Well, the next day, when my mom went to visit her and my grandma, my aunt told my mom to "Be careful, because Roxie is skinnier than when I saw her last." They know about my 'eating problems' (vaguely) because stupid me used to tell them how much weight I had lost that day. My mom told me this, and obviously I was damn happy.
Well today, my grandma was talking about my cousin (let's call her Zara) and that she had gotten skinnier. My brain instantly said,
"Fast. Fast for an entire week, Roxie. Let's see who's skinnier at the end." Which is messed up.
Not fasting, but because the reason Zara got skinnier wasn't because she wants to, but because her mom recently doesn't have any money to eat with.
Anyway, I guess another reason I hate her is because people confuse her with me. My grandma was walking with Zara to go to the doctor, and one of my mom's neighbors asked my mom why I (Roxie) was going with my grandma.

"Why the hell do people confuse her with me?"
"Well, you guys look alike... it's the genes."

She's taller than me. She has black long hair (dyed btw) down to her waist and she's whiter than me. I am a bit shorter than average and I haven't had black hair since I was 14.
I just wish I was skinnier than her.

Weight Today: 52.2 kgs

Must be all the f*cking alcohol I drank on Saturday. No worries. I'll get back to my 101 lb glory days, even though I didn't feel skinny then either. Going to buy Hibiscus while my mother is out singing because she's finding it suspicious.
Yay to no food for the rest few days!