I think I'm lying to myself regarding food. When my aunt and uncle leave to get some errands done, I sneak into the kitchen and grab something to eat. I hide it in my room and eat it secretly. Yesterday, I stopped as I ate a cookie and thought. From whom am I hiding from? My aunt and uncle won't think it's weird if I go to the kitchen to get a snack, so why am I sneaking around? The only person I'm harming is myself. Do I do this to somehow validate eating? I mean, I'm sneaking around so I must not be eating much... Am I hiding from myself?
The night before last I was on facebook, you know, just scrolling down to see what people had been up to... when I came across a new thanksgiving album one of my aunts (Who live in another country) had barely posted. Immediately, my eyes went to these pictures:
This is my cousin, Jackie, favorite niece of my aunt CC and Susie. They always go on and on about how beautiful she is and how much they miss her. Whatever. She used to kick me when we were sleeping. Bitch.
Anyways, as soon as I saw them *the pictures* I was all, oh my god. She has never ever been skinny, but she has known which way to turn when the camera is shooting her way, so she doesn't look fat. The first picture doesn't do her much justice, but her long skirt did come in handy to hide her fatty lower half. This is why I have to lose weight in time for the holidays. My aunt CC usually takes surprise photographs and posts them on facebook the next day, making you think over your last binge. The camera adds 10 lbs, and even in last year's photos I look somewhat fat. But anyway, glad I'm not her!
Is it bad that I added these pictures in my 'Reverse Thinspo' folder?
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