Let's Not Auto-Medicate

I just realized something today.

My head was hurting so badly in Physics class and I felt like I was going to faint from tiredness. Because of it, I couldn't even understand the lesson and I was just wishing the time came around to go home so I could take a pill or something.
The time came and I went home, and instead of taking a pill, I fell asleep. Once I woke up, no one was in the house, so I went downstairs for a light snack to cure the tiredness I still felt.
Now, I know eating will not cure that at all. But I keep doing it. You know, auto-medicating with food, which is one huge mistake. Why? Because even with food in your stomach, your symptoms won't go away, so you're left (in my case) with a huge belly and a piercing migraine.
The worst part is that after you eat to cure yourself and the pain still doesn't go away, you say, 'Hmm, I guess I have to eat more...' and you eat. And it still doesn't go away.

I need tea instead of food! I need a box of aspirin as well. With that, I can stop being this huge vat of lard that walks around in loose sweaters so no one can see how horrible she's become.
Ever since I moved in with my grandma, I've gained 8 pounds. That's in a 1 month period. But no worries, (I tell myself so I can stop freaking) I move out in a matter of days. Our new house is still not organized thoroughly but I can prefer that than being in a house that serves 3 meals a day.
When I'm alone, my willpower comes back and I can focus solely on losing weight and pinching myself here and there in front of the mirror. Plus, no one checks what I'm eating, or how strange it is that  I go to the kitchen to serve tea instead of food.

I now weigh 54.1 kilos. I'm just waiting for Ana's voice to become stronger, and break through the chains that keep me tied to disgrace.