The Two-Digit Number That Won't Seem To Leave

Weighed myself today.

Sadly, I've gained my weight back. The weight I was when I started this blog, 53 kilos. Well, actually the scale said 53.1 kilos. Or 117.3 lbs. if you're not familiar with the metric system.
I'm not as angry as I thought I would be because I had expected it. It's the number that always comes up when I've eaten 'normally' for a couple of days. I checked my BMI and... I didn't like it. My ideal weight is 43 kilos, so I need to lose about 20 pounds. It's do-able, but my body can't handle it like it used to.
It's hard to keep up your diet when you're staying with your family, and they usually have 3 meals a day. But it's not impossible.
The only bad thing for me is that this is an extended weekend since Monday is a holiday (?) and no one works or goes to school. So that means that my family will be in the house 24/7, and be yelling at me to 'come down and eat'. But I'll try to keep my willpower strong!
I'll be starting a fast since Monday (If possible) or Tuesday until Saturday morning, very much like my 'tangerine diet' I began this blog with.
I can't weight (pun intended xD) to feel pure and empty for 4 (or 5) complete days. I remember the feeling of my 56 hour fast... I felt beautiful.
As I was sitting in the kitchen after having breakfast with my family, the topic of weight came up (I don't remember why) and my cousin, Carol, told everyone how I had pinched my belly and said, 'What a fat bitch' in front of the mirror the other day. My mom kept looking at me, since she knows about how I used to never eat, but I just casually laughed as if it was something really stupid and ordinary. My grandma said, 'You look good now. Not like when you start losing weight. Your face looks all sucked and gray then, not pretty at all'. I just nodded and smiled. They don't see me the way I do. To me, all this fat needs to be cut or carved out of my body, to make way for a skinnier me. I don't like how I look right now, at all. All this flab is unnecessary, so I'll get rid of it.
The good thing about next week is that I'll be at school  since 7am until 6pm, and when I come back home, no one will be there. That means that I'll be able to fast without any problemo. When my mom asks what I've eaten, I'll just lie and say what I've seen lying on the kitchen that day.
 I watched 'Scouted' on E! today, and I had an insane blast of thinspiration. I truly recommend it for fast days.

Another thing: Here's the picture of the inspiration for my blog. As you can see, it's a Blue Ribbon Bracelet! how original, I know. I'm not Bulimic or anything (I used to only excercise-purge) so it's not simbolic of 'I have Bulimia so I wear a blue bracelet'. It was just a bracelet that reminded me of my goal and my promise to myself of reaching it. Thanks to it, I was able to lose 8 lbs in a matter of days.
Although, I now have to get a new one because this one ripped.

*Oh, about the scale: It's a WeightWatchers scale (digital) that had been unused for a couple of months now because the batteries died. Everyone went to eat tacos tonight (except me!) and I jumped at the opportunity of switching the remote control batteries to the scale, and finding out how much damage  I had made.
I wish for the day when I see '46' on the scale again.